When A Sales Pitch Goes Very Wrong

An email I got last night at 11:30pm.

Hello
My name is _______ and I am with the _________, We are an SMB partner of the Google networks.  I work with new businesses like yours getting them new customers through the internet, direct marketing and yellow pages. I would like to show you just how many potential customers are looking for your type of business in Volusia County and just how to let them know why they need to choose you. You opened your business to be a SUCCESS. I can help you do this. Please reply back to me and I will show you just how it works. Tell me about that perfect customer that you want calling you. That will help me build out the right program for your business. I look forward to hearing from you.


________
Volusia New Bussines analyst


This is like a giddy dream for my cynical self. I mean this is the kind of stuff that keeps me motivated and giggling for hours.

Some things are wrong with this pitch, and by the way it isn't spam exactly because they at least got the county right and it doesn't say Dear Sir. But it is def a form letter:

• I am not a new business, I opened in 2010
• Don't send sales pitches at 11:30 at night
• Who reads the Yellow Pages? 
• And the obvious-he wants to show me about new BUSSINES 

What did my mean self write back?




Thank you for your email. You might want to change your signature to reflect the word BUSINESS spelled correctly in order to be taken seriously. 

That was good, right?? No coffee and all!

What was the worst sales pitch that you received?


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