The Little Blog Dress: happy

Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts

The Woman I Am-Pursed Lips October 26, 2017

Hope you all don't mind my prattling lately. I have just been in a writing mood and instead of saying I should blog about that and don't...well...I have been.

It's Friday!

I hope you all have a good weekend planned. My goals are literally the same as last weekend. Technically we have no football this weekend as the FSU game is tonight at Boston College. I am surprised that they don't play today at 1p instead of Days of Our Lives, they are so bad. PS, do you ever look at your favorite soap operas?? The SAME PEOPLE are still there!

Joe Girardi is not returning to the Yankees next year. Honestly, bye Felicia....he never embodied the Yankee spirit, IMHO...Its hard to verbalize and listen, there will never be a Joe Torre (the grandfather I always wanted). But, he just had cold eyes. I am a weirdo, now you know. I need Derek Jeter to quit this Marlins nonsense and come home and be the manager. Please.

I am the woman I hated. My friend and I had an actual business lunch yesterday. We both have girls...Every is seven months old and I brought Lilly....we literally talked about being a mom the entire time. Who are we?? I think we went over about five minutes of business and then we spoke about everything mama in between. Goodness.

Speaking of which. Why are Moms so Mean? It keeps happening again and again. More on that later. But seriously....who are these women? I grew up here and have NO idea who the hell these mean girls are.

This week, we attempted our holiday shoot for our card. Attempt. There is a special place in heaven for my photographer if she gets something out of this. About an hour before the shoot, Lillian decided to learn the duck lip kissy face pose and wouldn't stay in one place to save her life. She also was all jacked up on Mountain Dew the entire time, it was like she has never seen the outdoors. Fairly she doesn't go outside much. Don't believe me? Here you go (blurry because it is on her computer screen).

Enjoy your freaking weekend!

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Hurricane and First Steps

Wishing all friends a safe and smart next couple of days as we await Hurricane Irma. I hate the term the calm before the storm, but while I should be packing up, doing laundry and breathing in a brown paper bag...I found myself drinking coffee horizontally watching Kimberly from Eat Sleep Wear put on her makeup and Eva Chen take an Uber to Fashion Week on Instagram Live.

The best meme all week is the one that described how Floridans are annoyed that the storm is above a Cat 2 and now we have to go do something. Seriously, It is Now the time to be safe and to pray and to shake your head at people bccause even in a time of worry, some still make it only about themselves. Hate that. Trying times brings the best and worst out of people, it is always a good time to think about what and more importantly who is most important and how you can help them.

Anywho! Some news on the Lilly front, we have a walker! Over the last couple of days, I think I saw her walk....I know that sounds strange but it is one of those things where I was like wait... am I really that tired or did she walk from the chair to the ottoman? But we finally got it on video! Conveniently she has a little sniffle for the second time in her life. I know that I am very lucky but I just hate when she is sick, it stresses me out more than most people. So, she looks like drool head mcguility and like she needs a serious bath (she does) but this is what memories are made of!

In the midst of our storm, a rainbow appears! Want to take a #Irma break and see a cute baby walk for the first time? #gimmethatcellphone #getsitfromhermama #ragamuffin

A post shared by Darlynn Nangano Tacinelli (@littleblogdress) on Sep 9, 2017 at 2:54am PDT

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Lilly turns One! Mom Dies from Overcrafting.

My best friend says I am the craftiest person she knows. This literally could be the best thing she has ever said to me in our 27 years of friendship.

I never really had the crafty bug, of course I went through "phases", the "I want to knit phase""Let's make jewelry phase"...oh! "Stamping, that sounds like a lovely way to spend your time!"

It wasn't until my wedding to wear the bug was bit and I was knee deep in Pinterest every night at 3a to deal with my insomnia. So, I have made this and that, helped a friend or two-but it wasn't till Lilly's party that I realized this was the first time since the "Big Day" that was an event for me to plan ~~all for myself~~ just for Lilly!

I have to admit that I did do some secret squirrelly things like pick the same theme for her party as he yet to be done nursery.
I know.
Yet to be done.

But, that changes THIS WEEK as we move out of our house and tile shall be laid! Then a whole new project that has been two years in the making will begin! I just did a little dance. Stay tuned!

For her party, I breathed in and out and used Trello as a planner and really enjoyed myself crafting and planning a soiree.

Invites.
Of course, when one starts an invitation business one can not fail on invites. I have been using Creative Market a little which gives me the graphics I need to pull off some great things. I just started dabbling in Illustrator, and could not be more please with my results.

As much energy as I spent on my invites, everyone wanted to know how the stamps came to be. I would tell you, but then I would have to kill you.

Decorations
This is pretty much where I knew I was having an issue with OCD, and I had to hide my efforts or my husband would divorce me. Exhibit A:

But in the end, it really looked amazing and I was proud of my craziness!

I wish to make a living making tutus

Parabo Press was so amazing to work with! Especially after I forgot one picture, they helped me rush it!

Yes, these are wood, and yes, I need medicine.

Complete helium tank fail, lesson learned-pay the extra money

Lilly's Year in the Life Banner, took off almost a year of my life while making.

Finished Project, thankfully it laid against the wall when displayed

Food
The food was super good, the biggest hit was these sandwiches. Delicious!

I took a semi naked cake from Publix added my own flowers and it was exactly what I wanted. My sister who is an excellent baker, made this amazing cupcakes. I hot glued seed packets to craft sticks like a crazy person, combined graham cracker and oreo crumbs because I wanted sand not dirt...cue crazier music....could not be happier how they turned out!

Results
Well, I think everyone had a good time. We had family only and four of my best friends. I could do it this way or I could have a 100 people at a party a baby would not remember. Speaking of which, I politely asked for no gifts, because we don't need any thing at this time. Like, seriously...want to give me and Lilly a good gift-come fold my laundry, please!

Seriously, we asked instead to donate to the Daytona Blues Festival which 100% of the proceeds goes towards the Halifax Health NICU and Project WARM...two very near and dears to my heart. We raised $500! I am so happy!

Ta. Da. We are one!

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The Last First!

Happy Fourth of July! I wonder if I am the loony one, but I am a little bummed this morning as this will be the last "First" holiday for our pumpkin. We are rolling into birthday season yo!

So, while most are boating, swimming and celebrating our independence-I am using this free day to solidify our first birthday party plan. I am enjoying planning this smallish, family only event like one would plan a wedding. But I don't care! It is a great day to celebrate, and I can not wait!

Enjoy your day! This is outfit one of three from our little Firecracker.

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Longboat Key Club Kicks Off The Start Of Summer

Steve and I have recently come back from a great staycation! It was just a short jaunt to the other coast and it was exactly what we needed to relax!

Over the next few blogs I am going to tell you a little bit about my time in Longboat Key and Sarasota, but I wanted to start with my fabulous accommodations at the Longboat Key Club.

This was an amazing resort, and I have some great things to tell you about our experience but I will first let them speak for themselves, they have some great specials!!!

The Toes in the Sand gets you on the beach in style with beach umbrella included and $75 per day beach Food & Beverages credit.

The Florida Resident rate is a great discount for Florida residents and is available year-round – we love our Florida visitors! Get away to the beach – just a short drive away! Best beach vacation ever!

Also, check out the The Tranquility Tea amenity, which guests can purchase for their arrival – it sets the tone for a great weekend wellness retreat or just a nice touch to a spa getaway. ($60).

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The Future Arrives One Day At A Time

This is one of my favorite sayings and it is always a good reminder!

Today is June! Remember how we hated June last year? Remember how the darkest and dreariest, could barely get out of bed days of my life was two Junes ago! But this June!!!!! It is full of every dreams are made of! Sunshine! Unicorns! The start of summer! The way things were meant to be!

June 1st also symbolizes a big day in the philanthropic piece of my life. Today, I am no longer THE Past President of the Junior League of Daytona Beach, I humbly join a bunch of amazing women and become A Past President of the Junior League of Daytona Beach.

Today, on June 1st also symbolizes the first day where I hang up my pearls and white gloves (as If!) and become a sustainer (it is our term for alumni, if you will) in my League. As my husband put it, sooo no more meetings? Ha! Yes, something like that!

Being a Junior League member is an amazing (and a little surprising) life changing experience. In these past nine years, I have learned so much about disrupting convention (our theme this year) and how it really does start with a woman. (our theme two years ago). I have learned that it means so much to make a difference. I have also been mindful that not having a charitable component in your life, makes a very sad life indeed!

That is the personal part. The professional aspects have been equally as rewarding! I used to be able to speak to 1000 Spring Breakers back when we were kind of a big deal (#OK) but put me in a room of 20 people, I would rather die. Now! Sad for you! I can talk to anyone about anything in any capacity!

I have also had the opportunity to become a true leader in my community. To make decisions that are best for a non profit organization is so ridiculously rewarding I can't even begin to explain. Being a Junior League member has given me the courage to speak up, to lead, to be an entrepreneur. It goes on and on.

And the friendships? From the girl who would purse her lips and say, I don't need any new friends I grew up here...the ladies I have met within the Junior League have changed my life.

Okay! This is starting to get sappy. The best part of it all is I am the super lucky chicken that also handles ALL the social media for the ENTIRE organization (The Association of Junior Leagues International). For me, it is bittersweet to take a pause on my local platform but I am as blessed as can be to see what happens on a daily basis with this amazing international organization.

Please make a difference somewhere. If not the Junior League, just spend it somewhere using your skills to help others. It will change your life. It does mine.

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Happy Mother's Day!

Good Morning!!
Happy Mother's Day!!

I want to go out today just so someone will say that to me!

I feel in some ways I have been waiting for this day my entire life! I am hoping that whatever stage your life is in, you have a wonderful Sunday. I read somewhere that “You are very likely an important person in a young person’s life. We are all parents in one way or another.” That is very resonating, isn’t it?!

Not to bring out the tiny violin, or cello (because I am relishing Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Morairity this week), but Mother's Day for almost two decades has meant nothing to me but bitter aggravation, and then recently anguish. I have become so far removed from considering this a day of celebration that it wasn't until late this week where I realized that I had to start thinking about aunt and nana gifts from Steve's mom and my sister from Lillian!

But, today has such an utter sense of do-over, renewal, first day of the rest of your life taste that I feel like a kid on the morning of Christmas!!! I know that the first Mother's Day is a little self serving but I look forward to the years that come where this day and Father's Day can be a time to celebrate our sheer family joy.

I am happy to report that my husband must of had every woman that even looked his way in the last couple of weeks express to him how divinely important a first Mother's Day is to not screw up. I see roses and he has been to the jeweler. Two explicit things that the old Darlynn rolled her eyes at...but this misting tears of joy, grinning fool that lays in bed before you writing this? Bring it!!! Ring the bell, darling! Bring the champagne!!

Allegedly this is a day of relax and rest but what makes me happy is to entertain! We are hosting brunch for my sister and mother in law. I couldn't be happier!

Thank you for allowing me to use this blog, along with my travel and my love of wine ...an opportunity to let you know how really good my life is today. I am living proof of good things happen to those who wait.

Xx

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Perception of Time

I belong to this wonderful service called Morning Pics. It is probably one of the favorite parts of my day. Lately, it has made me think of what is important right now and what will matter when this day comes back around in pictures.

May 2015

July 2015

March 2017

The first two pictures came up recently and it gave me pause because in the first one 659 days ago was taken on our anniversary, right before I took a call from my adoption lawyer to deliver the biggest red flag news of our adoption we had been involved with for the past six months. Ruined my night. The adoption that never happened or the extortion heard round the world...whichever spin you would like to choose came exactly one month later.

A couple days later, I received my next memory, from 581 ago. Adoption failure in full effect, working on a pair of sisters that were homeless (which were pulled out from under us at the very last moment, of course) I was at my very lowest. I was terrified of the public, terrified of that "face" people would give me and taking my introvertness to a new level. I was in a very dark dark place. But, when a member of your tribe calls, you go and you help. It was appropriately pouring rain, I did what any brave girl would do: drank six beers, did what she needed me to do and had mini panic attacks that I would run into one of my NASCAR friends who were waiting to hear my good news and see pictures of well, nothing. I hauled booty the moment I could and was certain I would never feel better again.

There is a happy ending,

I took the last picture on Saturday of my sweet girl. It just gives me (and I hope you) the reminder that things do work out for a reason, none of those things were meant to be and the journey was worth it. The journey is always worth it. No matter if you are adopting a baby, struggling with your current job, hating your boyfriend or are in a happy go lucky place...the process to get there is in your hands and time is the key of perception. If you ask yourself, what is this gonna matter in ten days, ten months, ten years...the answer will set you free. See I just went all Oprah on you and you didn't even notice.

Till next time xo

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A Daughter's Memory

Today, I will post on Facebook and Instagram a reminder of a day that is always a dark day for me. I do it for me, and not for anyone else. Because as much as I despise empathy, I don't want this day to go by with out some sort of electronic remembrance of how I am feeling today.

Will this year be different, will I spend my day in happiness of memories? Will I revel in all the goodness that late has bring? Will I ever get my count right? Is it 17 years? 18 years? Why am I so bad in math? He was always so good at it.

This year on January 11th, I am met with a little more dread and questions. I am met with an earnest yearn for wanting to speak to him more than ever before, to ask him how he is, how he thinks I am doing? Does he support the decisions I make? Why didn't he tell me what was ahead for me? Can he see his granddaughter? Is he really looking down and seeing it all and do I have his approval?

There is a reason January is always cloudy. Allrighty, rainbows and butterflies tomorrow I promise.

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2016 In Review

I am a little bummed because people are so anxious to move on to 2017...why because David Bowie died? Your candidate wasn't picked? Did you get to get up every morning, stretch and start a new day for a whole year? Yup!

It is obvious why I am so Holly GoLightly on this subject, but a year ago around this time on New Year's Eve day I cried to my husband and begged to go without me to a friend's party. Just a year before we were doing cheers at friend's same party to the adoption that ~~never happened~~ ~~got extorted~~ failed six months later

For two weeks I laid in bed whenever I didn't have to 'real life' and sobbed because I could not believe the world could be so cruel to two good people. Safe to say, I was very much ready to see 2015 in my back mirror.

And then 2016 came. And it was a great year, Yes, we know the best thing about 2016 and my life ever....that's a given...but I also have learned a lot. About life. Family. Friends. And Miracles. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I am a little busier this year to do a full recap like Megan and I do each year (she has hers up already, damn her!) but here is a quick recap of what also made my life complete:

In January, I had the great opportunity to go to NYC on Jet Blue for the first time, it was a blast and I will never forget that trip and the memories made! AND we got our first Today Show appearance!

I was fortunate enough to travel to NYC a couple more times, and go to Austin and Chicago with my AJLI people, and help start the process of working out the deets for social media strategy for this wonderful company! It is such a gift to work with them.

I also got to travel to DC with one of my favorite people and go on a week long vacation to New Orleans with my best half. Even with a pumpkin, I can not wait to find what neat places 2017 will take me and us!

My business continued with much success, I have enjoyed consulting and stepping in to help when needed (and being paid for it). It sure is nice to take the next step in your business and make it bigger and better. Plus I have some new ideas stashed ready to go this New Year!

One of my great friends sung the National Anthem at the Daytona 500....this is not exactly true, but it is one of 1000 belly laughs this year with a bunch of wonderful friends, new and old.

I was also brave enough to say this year, that doesn't work for me....it is very powerful-at work, in life with friends and with family. Putting you and your family first should never be something to be ashamed of.

I lost this year. My dear sweet kitty Felicity. Prince, who was a musical hero. Family that can't get out of their own way. I also lost the will to feel guilty about a lot of things. I choose Joy.

I am thankful for my sister and my niece which makes us the smallest family ever. Big Hair, don't care...we make it work! Who needs a big family! It is super amazing to see them share our joy with Lilly, they are so important to me.

Steve and I and my best friend Suzie went to our 25th High School Reunion! Isn't that what old people do?! What a fun event!

Speaking of my BFF, who may or may not read this ever...I am very grateful to her and her husband and little boy for consistently giving us strength and courage to keep going down this journey. Allegedly, I did this for her but I really don't remember. Even miracles take a little time is our mantra, well that was our mantra...We did it!! seems to have replaced that one. My gosh, we did it.

And of course, our amazing daughter...my goodness what to say? Even though we are both down with the sickness for our first New Year, I can not wait to show this baby girl what the world is all about!

Let's go 2017, I can not wait to see what you will bring. Ok, fine let's see those nine punkin pictures!!

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The Very Basic and Honest List of Needs for New Moms

I have been holding on forever writing this, really for no reason except for time or lack thereof. I had dreams, you know, to be this great blogger that would instill all wisdom on the daily of what was very much needed as a new mom! It would be so fun to be a consistent mommy blogger!

Sadly, what is really on my mind is to write an entire blog post on my google search. I really want you to see is the most ridiculous things I have googled since my LO (yup that is a forum term and it stands for little one! I have arrived!) was born.

Today, for instance I googled...how close can you put the dehumidifier...because really...should the smoke consume her entire face so she def gets it or am I looking to achieve overall room comfiness?

I am really smarter about all this nonsense. My main goal in this journey is I really don't want to pile my house and new life with a bunch of stuff. Says the girl who has no nursery set up...(I will get to it I promise....)

Here are five things I think you will need in order for life to move forward.

A set up and a sleeping plan.

This is pretty basic, but you will need a dedicated area to change the baby and a place where she will sleep. It may be an elaborate nursery...all set up and ready to go or you could set up the changing table and leave everything else that needs to go in the nursery in the garage like some people.

Hopefully, you have someone to share this journey with, please note on day 3 or 4 without a plan and a set up you might want to kill them. Yes, watching the baby together holding hands cooing 24/7 is very sweet, but eventually you will come to your senses and realize ain't no one is gonna get any sleep or sanity this way.

What worked for me and my DH (another forum term, to bring you up to speed....I thought it stood for designated husband for quite some time instead of dear) is that because I am used to getting up the earliest and need the least amount of sleep, it made the best sense for him to have the last feeding and for me to go to bed around 8p or 9p. This sounds early but some nights I find myself praying the clock says this time instead of what time it actually is (6p).

A Rock N Play
My best friend suggested this and it saved our life. It is elevated so it eliminated a lot of gas issues and she really loves it. I may never take her out of it.

A Boppy Lounger
The Boppy pillow is pretty great, but the Lounger! The Lounger is like the penthouse suite of pillows, we feed her on it and she takes her naps on it. It is great because it also distinguishes between the rock and play which is only used for the final night sleep.

An Amazing Diaper Bag I am actually very passionate about this. Most diaper bags are very ugly. Very. Ugly. I bought a Kate Spade diaper bag which should have been sufficient but it really is a better pack and go to Nana's bag. It wasn't very user friendly...sad to say. After searching passionately for a gorgeous bag, I started looking at what the stars were carrying...I hope you are not judging me, if they say they are good then they are good. I came across the brand Timi and Leslie and can not tell you how impressed I am with the quality and I love that it comes in a variety of colors...yes it is a little pricy, but Poshmark has a ton of them.

Food

The first couple of days we were home, Steve said "I don't really think you need to have your friends do the meal train...my mom and our family will cook for us!" After a couple days of...well, we forgot to call his Mom or any family and pizza delivery was on the menu.

It is not a bad idea to ask for a little help and get a friend to help organize a meal train for you. Just so you know, it is also not in bad taste to ask them to leave it out in the cooler on the front porch...it seems like that is not kosher but I am told it is completely acceptable. Although once Steve went back to work I welcomed the company!

Another amazing idea is the fun deal that Carrabba’s has for you!!

Family Bundles saved our lives more than once during the first couple of weeks. Great for new moms and busy families and anyone who is looking for family meal solutions that are quick and convenient but don’t sacrifice taste and freshness to feed their family in the evening.

Carrabba’s solves dinner (or lunch) today with a menu of Family Bundles perfectly portioned for 4 people

Family Bundles Menu has 6 options starting at $34.99

Spaghetti with meat sauce, meatballs or sausage
Cavatappi Alfredo
Lasagne (requires a 4 hour call ahead notice)
Cavatappi Carrabba
Chicken Marsala
Chicken Parmesan

· All Family Bundles are made fresh when you order
· Entrees bundles with choice of soup or salad
· Comes with a side dish (except Pastas)
· Bread, herb mix and olive oil included
· Customers can order and pay on line or over the phone
· Delivered to your car when you pull up at the restaurant

This was a lifesaver and delicious, we had so much amazing food!!! It was also convenient to order! Find out more information here.

What other tips are a MUST for a new mom? Leave them in the comments!

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All I Want For Christmas Is You

True story, every Christmas song has made me misty since God was a boy. I feel when I finally launch my movie star career and I need to have an emotional scene with Ryan Reynolds as he begs me not to leave him, all the studio does is play Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, and here will come the water works.

Hell, even as I hear the Mariah version of All I want for Christmas, I take a peak in my backseat at my little angel and burst into tears. Probably something to speak to my therapist about this month, but I am fully exercising in the practice of happy tears. It is almost a little embarrassing how many times I have gotten choked up happily over very little.

Except for This is Us.

Dear God! It is one of those shows that Steve makes a face before we watch (it is slight, but I still see it) but then rewinds something that is said because he missed it. Aha! But dear God, those are some heartstrings shit, huh? And it really isn't the whole adoption thing, to be honest...but it well written, reminds me of Parenthood (same writers) and every one needs a good ugly cry once a week. Cleansing or whatever.

Speaking of cleansing, having a baby acquires a LOT of extra stuff!! I find myself straightening all day long and she just sits there and looks cute! When she starts getting on the go, I am in a lot of trouble. I am kind of excited that this year, we just get to enjoy the spirit of Christmas without worrying about getting a bunch of stuff....as I write this I see my UPS, Fed Ex and Mail Persons hysterically laughing. Well, we are trying to keep it to a bare minimum.

Maybe we will work on her room finally...does this horrify you? It should!! I have an almost five month old and even though the perfect nursery is in my head, I have yet to pull the trigger. I know that she doesn't need the space yet, but we have got to start making decisions! We delusionally bought a new dining room table this week, as a mad swipe at deference, so I guess worse case scenario she can always sleep on that! It extends like a big girl table!

A little prattle, A little babble but I wanted to say hello!

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Because I Love Her

Our day in the sun has arrived! We are a forever family! Over the moon excited for our future. The world is ours and we can not wait!

Some highlights:

I hope I never forget that I had the good fortune to try on Lilly's outfit before we went, as it was 7 sizes too big and I had to scoop her up and run like a banshee to Dillard's at the last minute.

During our finalization, there was not a dry eye in the house, even the Judge cried!

I was right. And we were too happy to take the full glory that this entails. I TOLD my husband I didn't think we should bring the car seat and stroller in the courthouse. To which he politely brushed off! Guess who, much to the dismay of some early morning courthouse visitors were delayed a good five minutes taking the baby out of the carseat? Then the cover off, then the stroller back in and back through. What a mess! And damnit, I couldn't take the utter glee for being right just for once.

Our lawyer asked during the proceedings (which were less than 2 minutes) why we wanted to adopt Lillian? I started strong, yes I did...and said because we love her! Good, right?! Then, I guess that wasn't good enough for my frail emotional two year long journey state because I started babbling and hysterically crying that when she wakes up in the morning, SOB, she looks at me with love with these big blue eyes SOB and I cherish every second of that...someone get this fool off the stand. But, we have video, so there is that!

This week, my mother in law was playing with her and leaned down and whispered and now you are a Tacinelli. Nearly broke my cynical state of mind. So, miracles do come true and it feels so good to be happy and now I shall join all the other mother's in complaining about shit we should be thankful for.

Introducing the official Party of Three!

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FriYay Thoughts

Ahhhh Friday! We have quite a week!

1. After ten years of complement, we got hit by the Hurricane Matthew! We lost 'only' ONLY a 50 ft tree in our front yard that gently brushed with no damage our neighbor's house. Not to be unkind, but it was the wrong tree, the tree in the back was the one to go! Ha! Seriously, luckily although it looks like a war zone, we fared okay in our little town.

2. Super tired of the first world hags on my Facebook. I realize that is not very kind but there is a lot of complaining going on! Yes, we had some power issues and boil water yucks but I choose grace and thankfulness that I don't live in, I don't know Haiti...where there were mass casualties.

3. I am voting for Donald Trump. I literally don't care what he said to Billy Bush fifteen years ago. I am all for the locker room mentality, I have been friends with boys for years. I was friends with a band that had a boob book, god forbid these men today with stable wives and families and Grammy and Emmy winning careers run for office! Frankly, if you knew what I said or did or thought 24/7 fifteen, twenty years ago, we may not be friends either. Just ask my ex-boyfriend.

Trump apologized, let's move on. Truly sad about the media and their inability to report anything properly, and for you to buy right into it. It is very concerning that this is what we have spent an entire week on, instead of talking about how truly fucked our county is currently. I am sure willing to have a 15 years ago p-grabbing conversation rule over the fact that after seven weeks and 25 phone calls to my insurance company, my daughter and I are finally insured (like paying customers) only to receive a notice that it is going up another $200 at the front of the year, for a super shitty policy. Or that I am self employed and Steve and I get so screwed on our taxes, we just paid off last years payment last month. That doesn't work for me. I am willing to let anyone give it a better stab. Before you go to the polls, please turn off the TV and go read Bias, by Bernard Goldberg, a former CBS head honcho-it is a life changer. This article is everything. PS don't get me started on 70 year old women "coming forward", this is nonsense!

4. Whew that was quite a rant. Wait, you are wondering why I haven't mentioned our Lillian? EEE! She is three months old today! I find myself typing this AM waiting patiently for her to awake! She has become quite a little person this week. What a joy! And Tuesday is our day, please pray for our family as this journey comes to a close and we scream GOTCHA on the top of our lungs. I can not actually wait to exhale fully instead of these shallows I have been doing since we started. It is gonna be the best day of our life, our li ay ay ay ay ay feeeeee.

Wishing you a fab weekend of rainbows, unicorns and Justin on Netflix.
xx

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Coffee, Cat Food and Other Newborn Survival Methods

I had dreams.
I had big dreams.
Over the past two months, I have said a thousand times-that would make a good blog.....that would make a good blog, that would make a good...than you wake up and it is Labor Day!

So here is my overdue prattle of smatter.

-It is Lillian's first holiday! YAY! This has been the best summer of my life. We are really loving everything you could imagine about this part of our journey. It has been exciting to figure it out. I am extraordinarily lucky as she is a good baby, it is rare that she is fussy unless she is on the changing table or hungry. She is also sleeping close to the whole night...11p-4:30a or 5:00a? I will take it!

-I have quickly adjusted to what I thought and what I know.

-I have only tried to kill my husband no less than three or four times in the beginning but now I have some ridiculous bird singing love for him when I watch him with our girl. He shows patience I didn't know existed in any human being and he has taken the later shift with good grace, ironically that is when she is most active.

-She open mouth grinned this week and we almost threw her, it shocked us so.

-We have giggled over her, texted each other pictures of her diaper's content for the doctor and both taken a million pictures of her staring at us. Hashtag Marriage.

-My Girlfriends and family come out of the woodwork to do absolutely anything for you....and I have gotten a little better accepting help gracefully. This is not easy.

-I have only pulled the newborn card once or twice to get me out of shit I don't want to do.

-I would give my every being to know what Lilly laughs at when she sleeps, it puts everything in perspective.

-I had my first "Holy shit how coothless moment" when someone saw me and screamed on the top of her lungs "Did you get her here locally?" Like she is a piece of salmon....wtf is wrong with people? I am happy to answer that question but in the middle of a public setting? I am not inclined.

-Can you explain to me why she has out grown Pampers NB, but Huggies fit fine and Honest are too big...is that a bargaining tool in the marketing board room?

-Annoying the world is the way it is today that I am stuck with about $100 worth of formula, because the system has been abused and certain idiots bring back formula for money from their WIC card.

-My cat has gained ten lbs since Lilly was born, every time she looks at me and goes to open her mouth to utter a meow, I shove cat food near her to keep her quiet. See! I have been very diligent to not ignore her!

Enjoy your holiday!

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Dear Lillian

Oh, I am a terrible blogger. I have some great news from Carrabba's to share and an amazing shipment of wine to chat about.

But First! (See what I did there? Please tell me you are watching Big Brother)

Two weeks ago. Just fourteen days. My life has changed forever. I am a mommy! I really am! As I am laying here for the last time by myself this morning with tears streaming down my face, I get to introduce to you this miracle of life.

Please meet Lillian Kenna!

Yes! It's all happening! We get to bring her home from the Halifax Hospital Spa (also known as the NICU) today. It has been an amazing couple of weeks and I have been soaking in every minute.

I opened my eyes today and promised Freja (my beloved cat) that she would always be my first baby. I have cried like four times thinking about that scene in Lady in the Tramp when they ignore Lady when the baby comes. Interesting, I didn't cry during the Showtime documentary also known as my daughter's first couple of days if life... but throw the Disney movie in there and I can literally barely compose myself.

I have taken over 400 pictures but as a writer, I have failed. I wrote some words of wisdom the day the adoption was finalized then poof. Hopefully, much to your dismay this blog will further serve that selfish purpose.

Things I know for sure:

* Would like to punch my former self with a "my child is not taking a binky" mentality. That lasted an entire two minutes of her life.

* may or may not have said thank you when someone said how good I looked for having a ten day old.

*it's amazing how much everyone knows about everything.

* the truest of life form can not but help itself but show its true colors in any big time life event. Sad.

*I will unabashedly and courageously make this all about me and my husband and my child.

* I truly don't think I will ever sleep again because I have to look at her every minute.

*Bodily functions mean nothing when they are your own (Daddy is working on this)

This is a sneak peak of what I wrote when that dreaded forty eight hours wait period was over and all papers were signed.

Dear Lillian,

Today is your third day of your life and the first day of mine. I can't tell you how it feels right now. I want to scream, I want to jump up and down and I want to hysterically start crying. Pretty much at the same time. I can also say that I don't actually believe that you are mine. I think this is what they call shock. Today your daddy and I got to hold you for the first time. You looked with your eyes open for a little longer today. I have nervously asked the nurses if you were by chance a puppy. You don't know this but they don't open their eyes for a couple of days, nor did you!

A family of three. #tableforthree

How on Earth will I sleep tonight?

And so, my life begins.

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Don't Only Old People Go To Their 25th Reunion?

This morning I have the great pleasure of waking up on my best friend's motorcoach. Allegedly it's on the beach, but all the windows are down and I don't want to disturb anyone this early.

This weekend we celebrate the fact that 25, not a typo...years ago, we walked across a stage and received the key to life: a high school diploma. How the hell did this happen? Why am I not old? I remember when my parents went up north to their twenty, and I was like God-I'll never see that in my lifetime. But here we are.

We are looking forward to this weekend....it takes a lot more planning than you could imagine. Unlike other events when you know all parties involved, for this one, absolutely no one has a problem telling you exactly how stupid they are. If I had a dollar for every ridiculous question I have answered this past week-well, I would be a very rich girl indeed. I have politely explained that yes, since you are "allergic" to alcohol there will be alternatives...and sure pay at the door! I'm a millionaire funding this myself and wish to have no name tag for you! Send my OCD in orbit, go right the hell ahead!

PS: just because Jesus told you that you were allergic alcohol shouldn't be a concern of mine. bring your own milk! (True story).

Of course, I am a little excited. This is the first reunion that I am Mahhhhhreeed to my classmate. Funny how stuff works out. I am sure there is additional pressure on some of you that are bringing your significant other to this ring of fire! Not me! I'm not even paying much mind to his attire! That's on you! Speaking of which, look what I found:

I did good. Of course, I have been doing all the starving thing because God forbid you don't miss a chance to have some loss of self worth during your event! Ha!

But, at any rate the highlight of the process was last night was when my best friend says "I have been thinking about your two outfits....you need to wear the coral Friday and the jumpsuit on Saturday. Because our pictures will look better based on my attire." Strangely, this warms my cold heart. Guess what else? The name of my jumpsuit is Lillian by Gianni Bini. You're welcome!

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Leap Year Heartbreak

You ever have a hangnail and it's all you can think about and then you stub your toe and it hurts so cussword bad, your hangnail is nothing anymore? That's the best analogy I can describe of how today feels for my family of two.

We have always hated Fathers Day, we have both lost our fathers. It was manageable because we were in it together. It got a little sticky because there has been a couple of years lately where we should be celebrating with our new family. Ah, the joys of infertility and adoption!

This year, in a way, it is so ironic it's funny. It really caps off our terrible year. Thanks to the amazement of Leap Year, the same day we should have been celebrating our daughters first birthday, we are reminded of yet another holiday this childless, parentless couple hasn't the good fortune to celebrate anything at all.

It's like the Lifetime movie that never ends, but I know-like all stories, there is a happy ending waiting just for us.

Thanks for listening, next post I'll be back to happy go lucky.

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June.

I used to love June, it was my half birthday...the start of summer....the beginning of Big Brother!

Then four years ago someone in Nairobi Africa skimmed by bank account for 8k

Then two years ago new management let go of my services after being a part of that organization for almost two decades (that's about to have a happy ending tho!!)

And last year...well, you know about last year.

All I can say to myself every day is please let something good happen this June. Especially this year, on THAT day, when it will actually also be Father's Day, the ultimate double whammy.

And I plead to whoever thinks I have the strength to get up every day, say a little extra prayer please! Because sometimes I can barely do it. There goes the portrayed image that I have coveted that I have my shit together.

It's all around me to boot, yesterday I overheard a cashier casually telling the bag boy that she'll probably have another baby next year, because for some it's that easy.

One of my favorite girlfriends was innocently telling us about the so many whoopsee pregnancies she knows of....it's hard to not be sensitive to this. It is not her fault, this is what people in the real world do.

The girl that laughs conspiratorially at me at a child's birthday party and chortles "Free Birth Control, huh?!"

And then I read this and my heart breaks all over again, never have I seen the process depicted so accurately.

We also have a family friend starting a Go fund me for their adoption...I can't even. On so many levels. I just don't understand.

I am trying to be cool about this in front of my husband because really how is he to stop the month of June, really.

But I know he would if he could and that is one of the few things that is keeping me afloat.

This means the future comes one day at a time, in Italian...words to live by. My best friend said Bring on June!!! Then it will be July! That is also a great way to look at it.

Sorry for the poo poo poopy dooo, but sometimes I have to let myself take a stab at my keyboard and see what comes out. Today is one of those days!

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Five Things Not To Miss In New Orleans

Yes, you can go to Bourbon Street and spend all your time there, but I have a feeling because you read this blog-you are much more well rounded than that. I will tell you that it is very hard to pick what you absolutely have to do, even if you are there for almost a week like we were.

We hit a lot but still missed a bunch! But, if I had to give you a couple of things you must do or we can't be friends anymore...it would go a little something like this:

1. Drinks at 21st Amendment. This is where Megan had her night before wedding playtime and it is so cute. There are mixologists and the drinks are reasonable. What I love about this place is the entertainment they hire. When we were there, they had the most darling three piece that I may or may not got a little misty. Oh and when you are aggravated at the line at Acme, you can jump across the street here. Click on the Instagram below to kick it off the video. 725 Iberville Street, New Orleans

A video posted by Darlynn Nangano Tacinelli (@littleblogdress) on May 22, 2016 at 5:41pm PDT

2. Bloody Mary's at Erin Rose. This is the only time that I will go onto Bourbon Streets willingly and sober. It is small, dark, and has a great jukebox, VERY friendly bartenders and the best bloody marys that will start any day off right. LOVE. 811 Conti Street, New Orleans

3. Any Meal at Willa Jean's. This is a new kid on the NOLA block. It was our first official meal and it was amazing. First, it was so cute inside! Everything we had was delicious, I highly suggest artichoke and its cheese business. It was yummy! But please save room for desert, recently named the best, you need to get the Cookies and Milk. Yes, that is cookie batter and vanilla flavored milk. 611 O'Keefe Ave, New Orleans.

4. Burgers at Port of Call. I bet if I googled "Burgers at Port of Call and Bucket List" -there would be plenty! The burgers here are great, they cure whatever ales ya and how many times do you get to stop and get a baked potato with your burger. Shockingly once again, the Bloody's are amazing. I guess in a city that hurts you in the evening, they need to to fix you in the AM. 838 Esplanade Ave, New Orleans

5. Drinks at Lafittes. Allegedly the very first night I spent in New Orleans-we went here. I would like to say I discovered it on my very own when we stayed at an AirBNB down the street a couple of days later. Yes, it is the oldest bar, it is dark but it also so fun and the jukebox is a rocking. We stayed here all afternoon one day, that is hard to do in New Orleans! 941 Bourbon Street, New Orleans

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